What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Make Nazis afraid again!

What happened to the American Russell Bentley from Texas that was fighting for the pro-Russian commies?

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Why do I want to be caught sucking dick by my wife?

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Is it possible for creatures with intelligence more advanced than humans to evolve naturally in the universe?

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

If Donald Trump is so evil and Joe Biden is so good why is Trump the one selflessly providing Bibles for the needy while Biden doesn't? Why doesn't Biden care for America's spiritually needy people as much as Trump?

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

TEXT:

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Pope Leo XIV Dons White Sox Hat During Public General Audience in Vatican - Sports Illustrated

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Why do flat earthers delete their answers after being proven wrong? Are they just being ignorant and arrogant?

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

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Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Why was Cars 2 so bad?

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

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In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

How did Neo defeat the architect at the end of The Matrix: Reloaded? Was it solely due to his belief in himself or were there other factors at play?

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

How should an atheist respond to a religious person who asks, "Why do you hate God?" What are some appropriate and inappropriate ways to answer this question?

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!